Lost Love
by alexplaysbass
Summary: Edward's left and Bella's hurting. Will Edward come back or will Bella do the unthinkable and kill herself? Sucky summary but please give it a try! Rated T for a little bit of language. Mostly Bellas pov.
1. Lost Love

**Me: I just got ownership of Twilight for my birthday!**

**Stephenie: No you didn't.**

**Me: Yes I did!!! See look!!**

**Stephenie: Thats just printed off the net.**

**Me: No**

**Stephenie: Yes**

**Me: No**

**Stephenie: Yes!**

**Me: Ok maybe it is..**

Bpov (In New Moon the night that Edward left)

"_You..Don't..Want me?"_

"_No."_

The words kept swimming through my head, going round and round, confusing me.

After all the times he had told me he loved me! I guess I was lucky to spend as much time with him as I did. He's a god-like creature, he can do better than me. The plain old human.

He must of gotten sick and tired of having to save me all the time.

"Bella?" A voice in the distance....

"Bella?" Getting closer....

"BELLA." Charlies voice broke through my reverie like a shotgun.

"Are you awake?" I pretended to be asleep. I didn't want to have to face Charlie just yet.

I wasn't ready. Just the mere memory of the conversation in the forest would send me into hysterics.

I heard the door close quietly, and Charlies footsteps fade away.

**Sorry people it was so short but its just**

**the introduction. **

**The story is meant to be set like the next day after Sam found her in the forest.**

**Please review if you want be to continue!**

**Flames welcome.**

**Alex xxxx**


	2. Emptiness

**Me: Edward I own you now.**

**Edward: No you don't!**

**Me: Yes I do! Stephenie just gave me ownership!**

**Stephenie: No I didn't! I still own Twilight and all the characters.**

**Edward: Ha ha Alex!!**

**Me: Oh well. A girl can dream cant she!**

**Bpov**

_Running._

_I was running through some trees that I recognized as Forks Forest._

_I was looking for something, but what?_

_What was missing? What was it that felt so wrong, so empty in my heart?_

_And that when I realized._

_There was nothing and no one._

_No point in running, finding, because there was no one to look for._

And then I woke up screaming into my pillow.

Charlie burst through my door looking frantic.

"Bella?? Are you ok? What wrong??"

The tears were flowing down my cheeks, but I had to tell him something.

"It's ok Dad, it was just a bad dream. I'm fine now, you can go back to bed."

Charlie retreated, closing the door behind him not looking at all convinced.

I closed my eyes and thought of nothing-ness.

Thought of the blackness and emptiness that not resembled my life.

Next thing I knew I was opening my eyes to a new day.

But I stayed in bed. There was no point in getting up.

School would still be there tomorrow. As would everyone else,

carrying life out as usual.

But why did life go on? Everything was lost, and there was nothing left.

Charlie came in and sat on my bed.

"Do you want to go to school today or just stay home?

I don't mind but I have to go into the station today."

Charlie waited while his words sunk into my brain.

All I did was nod and and drop my head back down onto the pillow.

I heard him leave, and I closed my eyes to a night-mare ridden haze.

**Sorry everybody I am ****really**** not good at doing long chapters.**

**Hope you like it and please review!!**

**Alex xx **


	3. Awakening

**Me: Yanks the Twilight ownership form**

**Out of Stephenie's hands.**

**Stephenie: Thats not the Twilight ownership.**

**Thats just some old receipt so you still don't own Twilight.**

**Me: Bugger!!!! Stephenie can I pleaseeeeee have it??**

**Stephenie: NO.**

**Me: Ok then. =( ****meanie!**

**Bpov**

Charlie burst through my bedroom door, nearly rocking it off the hinges.

"Thats IT Bella!! I've had it! Your going back to phoenix."

He had no right! I HAD to stay here!

"Dad no!! I'm sorry but I am not leaving. I don't care what you do, or what you say, but I am not leaving this town."

Charlie face suddenly contorted with anguish.

"Please Bella. You need a break, a vacation or something! But you can't

keep on living in vain hope that Edward's going to come back."

Pain ripped through my chest as he mentioned _his _name.

"I'll do anything else but I am NOT leaving. I'll even call Angela tonight

if you want."

Charlie finally conceded and left.

I got up out of my bed and into the bathroom for a shower.

I didn't like standing still, left to my own thoughts, but the hot water couldn't be rushed.

As I turned the water off I heard Charlie leave and close the front door behind him.

Good. I didn't want to have to lie to him again, about how fine I was.

As much as I was lying, I don't think he bought it.

I went into my room and grabbed the first thing out of my closet that I could find.

Turns out it was a mini skirt and a halter neck. Maybe not.

How strange. Since _he_ left, I haven't been noticing anything much.

But now, it's changing. I can feel it. Like someone's just taken the blindfold

off my eyes, and I could see again. But the problem was, I could see a bit TOO well.

I didn't want to have to see again. I wanted to be numb. Being numb meant that I didn't

have to make my own decisions. But some how that had changed. And I didn't like it.

Not one bit.

**Sorry it's still short but I'm getting there!! =D**

**Please review,**

**Alex xx**


	4. Realization

**Sorry people I can't be bothered do a disclaimer like the the other ones so....**

**I do not own any of the characters in this story, unless I make it up.**

**Stephenie Meyer has full credit for Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.**

**Bpov **

I pulled into the school carpark and sub-consiously looked for HIS volvo.

'But why would it be here?' I asked myself bitterly. 'He left me remember?'

The ragged hole in my chest throbbed, as if to remind me it was still there.

I slid out of my truck and prepared myself for the day.

"Get out of my seat you little emo bitch" sneered Lauren.

Wow. Since when did she become like that? I mean she never really like me but she

never acted THAT bad before.

Or maybe she did and I just didn't notice it.

Anyway her and Jessica were standing there with there noses crinkled like they were

disgusted by me.

As I was getting up with my tray, Jessica's hand flew out and knocked the tray out of my hands,

making the food fly up and land on me, covering me and my clothes in my lunch.

I looked up to see Lauren and Jessica laughing, and most of the cafeteria

laughing along with them.

I sprinted to the girl's bathroom with tears streaming down my face.

As I sat in one of the cubicles sobbing, I realized something.

Nobody wanted me.

The Cullens left me, and now all the people that I had

called my friends had turned against me.

So what was the point in living?

I left the cubicle and went to my locker. Luckily everyone was in the cafeteria

so no one saw me.

I grabbed my bag, making sure I had a pen and some paper.

Then I walked out the schools front doors, still covered in food, and headed down to

La Push; First Beach to begin my plans.

**Once again I apoligize for it being so short!**

**Im working on it!**

**Please review, and let my know if you want me**

**to continue on with this story.**

**Cheers,**

**Alex Xx**


	5. Last Breath

**I decided to continue with it! Yay! :)**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Bpov**

I pulled up to the beach at La Push and turned the off the ignition.

I then reached over to my bag, and grabbed out a pen and paper.

Then settled down to write.

_Dear Edward,_

_I want you to know how much I love you._

_How much I want you back._

_But I know that can never happen._

_Because you don't love me._

_And I can't blame you. You can do so much better._

_Please don't fell guilty for me doing this._

_I know you will blame yourself, but it's ok._

_Because as you said that day in the forest,_

_vampires are distracted easily._

_You'll find your distraction, and you'll forget me._

_But I'll never forget you Edward._

_You were the best thing that ever has, and ever will_

_happen to me._

_I loved you so much._

_And I still do._

_If Alice sees me writing this letter, and knows what I'm planning,_

_please don't try to stop me._

_There's no reason to live, and I _

_just can't bear the pain any longer._

_Please look after Charlie for me._

_My heart is yours Forever,_

_Bella._

I folded up the letter, and put it in my jacket pocket.

Then I got out of my truck.

I didn't need to bring anything with me.

Because I was never coming back.

I started walking towards the water.

I could feel the sand in my shoes.

When I got to the waters edge, I stopped.

And started undressing.

I took off my jacket, but not before I had taken out the note, and

laid it down on the sand with the letter on top.

I knew Edward would find it.

Then I took off my socks and shoes, and my blouse.

When I was left in my bare necessaries, I walked forward.

And I kept walking until I was totally submerged.

Just then the sand dropped off, and it was deep over my head.

I knew there was no going back.

Images flashed around me, flickering from face to face.

Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Rosalie, Carlisle,

and finally coming to rest on Edward.

Life was hard, but death was peaceful and easy.

Blackness engulfed me.

**Cliffy! Just HAD to do it.**

**Chapters a bit longer then the others.**

**Thank God!**

**Keep reading and review!**

**Cheers,**

**Alex Xx**


	6. Visions

**Sorry for putting it all in bolds last chapter.**

**That was a complete accident.**

**I do not own Twilight, or any of it's characters.**

**Apov (Finally Alice!)**

I was shopping on line when I got the vision.

Bella was sitting in her truck at the beach and by the looks of

it, it was La Push.

She was sitting there with a pen and paper in her hand, writing something.

Then all of a sudden, I saw what she was writing.

I read through it, and gasped in horror at what I saw.

I couldn't believe Bella would be so stupid!

Plus Edward said she would be okay! That she had promised him!

"Alice? Are you there Alice? What did you see?"

Jasper was waving his hand in front of my face, looking worried.

I wonder what my face looked like?

"We have to get to Forks NOW!!!" I managed to gasp out."

"Bella's going to kill herself!!"

Jasper's face changed from worried to determined within seconds.

As much as he had stayed away from her, he loved her as much as

the rest of us. He had only stayed away for her safety.

"Right." he said. "You go tell Carlisle were we are headed, make sure

he doesn't stop you,

and I'll go book an emergency flight."

"But theres no time!!!" I screeched.

"Alice it's faster than running. Thats the only way we can get there okay?"  
"Okay" I replied.

And we were off the Forks.

Xbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbella

(On the plane Jasper pov)

Alice was so worried, she could barely sit still.

I wonder what she saw exactly?

I can't believe that Bella would do something like this. It's just not like her!

"I don't want a coffee! I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT!!"

Alice was growling at the plane stewardess, and the poor girl

looked terrified! I could feel the fear coming off her. I started to apologize.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive her behavior. We are in a rush to get

somewhere, and shes getting a bit impatient. I apologize."

The stewardess looked at me gratefully, and scuttled off.

"Alice you can't take out your frustration on humans like that.

You draw attention to us, and to put it frankly, you scare them shitless!" I scolded.

"I'm sorry," she replied. "I just really want to get to Bella."

"It's okay. Just don't do it again."

**It's shorter again!! =( **

**Geez it's hard getting long chapters!**

**Sorry this chapter is a bit crap. It**

**was written during period 3: English.**

**Keep reading and review!**

**Cheers,**

**Alex Xx**


	7. Revalations

**Thanks guys for all your reviews. They are**

**all really nice! I didn't expect that.**

**Anyway, I do no own Twilight or any of it's characters.**

**Apov (Alice again)**

We were nearly there.

The plane had just landed in Seattle.

As we were running through the airport, to fast

for the human eye to see,

I had a vision that stopped me dead in my tracks. The humans around

me looked a bit weired out by the fact that I had seemingly appeared

out of mid- air.

But I didn't care.

I was to devastated by what I had just seen.

Charlie had been standing at his front door, talking with a couple of coast guards.

"I'm sorry but your daughter was not found." said one of the coast guards.

"And I'm afraid were to give up the search. We are all very sorry for your

loss." said the other coast guard in a detached voice.

Charlie broke down, and fell to his knees, sobs racking his chest.

I came back from the vision.

And although I was upset, I was furious.

They had been looking in the wrong place!!

It was up to me and Jasper to find her ourselves.

Xbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbellaxbella

We were just inside the Forks city limits.

We had decided to go to Bella's house first to get

a blanket, and some other things we might need if we found her.

"Do you think Charlie will be okay after

all of this is finished?" asked Jasper.

"To tell you the truth Jasper, I don't know.

Bella was really the only thing good in his life.

I just hope we find her, for all our sakes."

We had finally reached Bella's house.

Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway, so I knew that

he wasn't home just yet.

I opened the door to see some girl sitting on

the floor, with her hands.

"Excuse me, but-"

She looked up and I gasped.

"Bella?!?! How the hell are you still alive?!?

I mean.... Your supposed to be lost somewhere in the ocean!!!"

I was ecstatic that Bella was alive, but I needed to

know what the hell was going on!

"I don't know Alice" she said.

"I don't want to go on any longer!"

I turned to Jasper too see what his reaction was, and let out a yelp.

Jasper's face was contorted in pain, and it looked like he was about to pass out.

"JASPER!! Whats wrong?!?" I cried.

He ignored me and turned to Bella.

"He hurt you this much? How can you bear the pain?"

And then I realized that Jasper must be feeling exactly what Bella

had been feeling for the last six months.

Bella started to speak.

"Jasper, Thats just it. I couldn't bear it. I tried for so long,

and I was doing okay, but it was just so hard. Every time

I saw or heard anything that reminded me of him, I would breakdown.

And I just got sick of it, so I decided to put an end to it.

But for some reason I couldn't.

I lost unconsciousness under water. I know that much.

But when I opened my eyes, I was still underwater.

And still breathing. I could breathe under water.

I started to swim towards the surface, and it was so easy!

It was like the water was moving out of the way for me.

Wherever I moved my hands, that was the way the water would move.

I got to the surface and swam to shore.

When I was fully out, I was completely dry, although I had

been underwater for ages.

I flicked my wrist to get a bit of sea weed off and

a fireball appeared in my hand!

Alice, I think I can control the elements.

I have no idea how, or why, but I can.

**Ha ha! Its longer again!**

**You won't have to** **wait so**

**long for the next chapter because it's**

**already written down in my diary.**

**I just need to type it up, and upload it.**

**As I've said in every chapter,**

**Keep reading and review.**

**Cheers,**

**Alex Xx**


	8. AN Please read!

**A/N**

Hey guys, it seems that Ive kinda written myself into a BIT of a hole here. I know this may sound like cheating, but has anyone got any idea's? I want to keep writing this story, but I need an idea to kick me off the ground again. I have one idea, but I don't really think it goes with the story...so if anyone wants to help me out..?

Thanks Everybody, Alex.-xo


	9. Proven

**Yes I got an idea!!! Ha ha It's not**

**too good, but I hope you guys like it.**

**Anyway, I do not own Twilight,**

**or any of it's characters.**

**Bpov ( Bella's back!) **

What the hell was happening? I didn't want to be alive. I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. But somehow I was. And I could control the elements.

After I had told Alice, she had stood there with her mouth wide open. "Alice, close your mouth. You'll catch flies." I snapped. "Sorry. It's just that...Control elements? I mean you've swallowed a lot of water..." she said, trailing off. "Alice, I can prove it. Jasper, can you please go and get me a glass of water?" He came back from the kitchen with a glass of water in his hands. "Good. Now throw the water at me. "What??" he spluttered. "Throw the water at you??" "Just do it Jasper." I said. He walked over, and threw the water at me.

I instinctively raised my hands and...... the water stopped in mid- air. I moved my hand to the left, and the water followed. I moved my hand to the right, and so did the water.

Alice and Jasper were just standing there gaping at me. "Need any more proof?" I smirked. "No, it's okay" said Alice. "We just need to- And then Edward burst in the door.

**Gasp!! Ha ha I like doing cliffys. =D Please keep reading, and tell me what you think of my idea. Thanks, Alex. -xo**


	10. Broken

**I do not own Twilight, or any of the characters, except the ones that I made up. :D Enjoy. **

**Apov **

"What the hell is going on here?" Edward roared.

"Alice, I told you to say away. How could you go against what I said and come anyway?" he asked, his pain seeping into his voice. "Edward, you would have come back if you had seen the things that I have." I said. "Look at Bella, Edward. I mean really look at her. See what you've done to her? But she still loves you Edward. And you love her too. I can see it in your eyes. So why do you deny it? You've made your choice just by coming back here. Please Edward. You need each other." I said, finishing off my speech.

Suddenly, Bella started convulsing, her back arching off the floor. "Bella!" Edward cried. He raced over, picked her up and held her twitching form in his arms. Bella was still jerking, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head, showing us just the whites.

Then abruptly, she stopped convulsing. In fact, she stopped moving completely. If it weren't for the fact that I could hear the blood pumping in her veins, and her heart beating erratically in her chest, I would have sworn she was dead.

I shuddered at the very thought.

Then I looked towards Jasper to ask him what was going on, to ask him what Bella had been going through, and lo and behold, he was gone. I just didn't seem like he could be around Bella lately. I guess her emotions were just too raw. I turned my focus back to Edward and the now limp Bella.

Edward was on his knees, and his head was buried in his hands. I couldn't even begin to fathom the pain he was going through right now. I knelt beside Bella and...Her eyes shot open. They were pure gold, even more gold than ours straight after we had been hunting.

They had flecks of Electric Blue, and they were glowing like the Morning Sun.

**Sorry, It's short again.**

**I tried to make it longer, **

**But it just felt right to end it here. **

**Don't forget to Review. :D**

**Alex.**


	11. AN Final

Ok guys, first of all, sorry for not updating for so long. And second of all, I just read through the story again and it's crap :) I reckon it's gotten to out of hand, and to far fetched. If anyone really likes the story, unlikely, or if anyone wants to adopt it and/or maybe swap stories, feel free to give me an email and I'll get back to you. Thank you for following, if anyone has been.

Yours Sincerely,

Alex.


	12. Reconciliations

**I have had this chapter sitting in my journal for a while now, just haven't really bothered to put it up, so I'm going to put this on and see what you guys make of it. Thanks for the really nice reviews as well. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (: I do not own Twilight, or any of it's characters.**

**Apov ( sorry Alice has a lot to say )**

Bella was staring at the roof with her empty, bright blue eyes. All of a sudden they began to flicker around wildly, as if searching for something. They finally came to rest on Edward. Her face twisted with anguish, and her hair began to change. It molded into the ground for a second, as though it was absorbing the color. Then it started to turn darker, and darker until it was a coal black, only to burst into brightness. I turned away from the harsh light, as did everyone else in the room. When the light around the room began to fade, I turned back.

Bella's hair was back to it's gorgeous mahogany brown, and her eyes were back to their original deep brown.

"What just happened?" croaked Bella. She seemed genuinely curious, and I truly think that she didn't remember what just happened. "I feel as if I've just ran a marathon. I have a **throbbing** headache." She looked around at the remaining vampires in the room, waiting for an answer. Edward got there first. "I don't know Bella. And I know that this doesn't explain any of what happened, but I love you. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I thought that by leaving you, I was protecting you. It turns out that I was the thing hurting you most. Please Bella, I need you. Could you possibly forgive me?" It was the first time he had spoken since the start of Bella's convulsions.

Bella was staring at Edward. Just... staring. I thought she had zoned out again, but then she spoke. "I love you too Edward." That's all she said, but it was enough. Edward plucked her up from the ground as if she was as light as a feather, and kissed her. The light bulb overhead shattered, and the door burst open, a fierce wind sweeping through the house, rocking it on it's foundations. Jasper followed in the wind, his expression joyous. I was speechless. His beauty was magnificent, his disheveled hair blowing about his face in the wind that Bella had created. Her emotions were so overwhelming that Jasper was feeling them to. I wasn't going to be the one to complain when he was in this mood. He reached for me with his toned arms crushed me in his embrace.

**Wow. Both the second and third paragraphs were made up on the spot (:**

**I know it isn't long, but it isn't too bad considering.**

**Please keep the great reviews coming.**

**Alex.**


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